Release Day Insanity!

Yes, it’s April 8th 2013 and the official release day of

By the Light of the Moon

This is why I am forced to post this long and gif heavy update on the blog-tour, my life, and everything. Because, while I am indeed an author – and it has never quite felt as crazy as right now, I find myself rather incapable of expressing all my emotions in written form. Also I love gifs.

So it all started very much like this:

“Hai, um, I sort of wrote something, Mr. or Ms. Agent/Publisher – it’s a sort of… thing! It has werewolves and fae and love and stuff!”

Unsurprisingly, a lot people said, “Um, thank you for considering us, silly newbie, but we will continue to represent people who are far more eloquent than you just proved yourself to be…”

And I felt very much like this:

But then — miracle of miracles! — I got an email one morning. It was an email by my wonderful acquisitions editor Jennifer Lawler of Crimson Romance. And I hope she doesn’t mind if I quote her here:

“Hi Laila — Thank you so much for giving us the chance to consider [By the Light of the Moon working title]. I’d love to have it for Crimson Romance. […]”

I mean, I was — I am — just this girl with a dream that was slightly too big for herself and someone just casually informed me that, here we are, this is it. This is where it can start coming true!

So first I was like…

“What… me?!”

And then almost immediately, and predictably, this happened. A lot. A lot, a lot.

Also for the longest time, I was utterly convinced, this was some kind of joke and sooner or later, someone would start laughing or be like “Oh, ooops, THAT was your manuscript. Ehh, yeah this is awkward.” And everything would be:

[Okay, yes, this gif is just a gratuitous John Krasinski one.]

But that’s how it all started. And from there, everything has just been happening so, so fast. I got an editor, we worked on the manuscript, we changed the title, and I was given a cover and each weak something new seemed to happen, keeping me always at the verge of that crying gif. Also these ones:

I played around with social media, met other authors and reviewers and saw what wonderful people they all are and how much belief it takes to be in this field. It’s wonderful and I love everybody I’ve met – it’s amazing to be part of this vast internet community so devoted to books. It’s perfect, just perfect! And I realized how much I love reading about successes and the joy in authors and about the excitement of readers, cracking open a new release for the first time.

You are my people. And I love you!

And so now it’s release day and the blog-tour has been running wonderfully for a week. The consensus so far seems to be that my book is very unique and a little bit confusing but ultimately a beautiful love story. And, hey, that’s exactly my kind of book! Unique and a little confusing? How that is that anything but a compliment?

And since then I have tried to remind myself of these two truths:

1. No book is for everybody. We all read on the basis of our experiences, our personality and the other things we’ve read. So technically whatever we read, we never read the same thing because it is filtered through who we are. Just look at some of the opinions on your favourite tv show — it’s like they are are not seeing the same thing at all!

2. This is my very first book. It is something to learn from, a first step. It is published in a beautiful but still small press and I want to soak up all feedback and internalize it and become a better writer from it.

Basically I was desperately trying to make myself believe I was doing this:

While really I was really doing this:

But today, is release day. And today, I’m this:

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