Discussing Driftwood Deeds: Bdsm and Feminism

A few months ago, I came across a brilliant little text image on pinterest that read “My bdsm will be feminist – or it will be bullshit.” Suffice to say, it hit home like any other major first-pumping moments of my life, sparking something like “Oh my god, yes!” in my happy little head.

by Shiri Eisner

I grew up always feeling the tension between the two – being sub and being feminist. It can be a bit of a mindfuck (pun intended ). For a long time, my feminist side was almost asexual; on feminist days, porn and stories, even fantasies did nothing for me. And then I had sub days, sub weeks, or months where feminism kind of went out of the picture for a while. It took me years to understand how to combine both and how that affects my bdsm for the better, just like that quote read.

Now here are some ways to make bdsm fiction feminist and empowring, and not – as many claim – reinforments of the patriarchy:

1.  Giving the sub agency.

For me, I do like a sub that has a feeling of innocence, I understand the appeal, especially because this way the reader can be introduced to bdsm alongside her – but she can still have agency. She can be educated, funny and aware of what is going on. She can voice opinions and discuss what they are doing together.

2. Consent and Communication

Now, I think all bdsm should rest on this – but because books often have a very accelerated time-frame for the relationship, we sometimes lose this a little bit. I love seeing happy, enthusiastic consent and enjoyment of the bdsm deeds. I also love it when they both talk about out it, and reflect on it together.

3. A truly respectful Dominant

There is a lot of thought going into how a sub shows respect to her Dom, but I think the other way around has to come across just as much. If he honestly respects her as a person, as a woman, for her intelligence or caring or skills etc. I will root for him through the entire story and, almost as importantly, I will respect her for choosing well.

So there we go. I tried to do all that in Driftwood Deeds, tried to create a hero I can root for and a heroine who walks that line between innocense and empowerment. It ended up being such a positive and exciting experince that I can’t wait to share it with readers and see how they feel!

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Remember my big New Year’s Giveaway, go enter now or it won’t be much of a contest ;) . And if you bought or received a free copy of Driftwood Deeds (or downloaded one somewhere lol), I also have a giveaway for those of you kind enough to leave a review of it.

Driftwood Deeds is available on Amazon.comARe Romance and Smashwords.

Detail of female hands tied up

 

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